


Hoarders

by Hanelli, Jupiterra



Series: Heart Of Hearing Universe [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Complete, Fluffy, M/M, Noodles, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:49:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29878647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanelli/pseuds/Hanelli, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jupiterra/pseuds/Jupiterra
Summary: Matthew can't stop bringing home books, but Lars isn't any better.
Relationships: Canada/Netherlands (Hetalia)
Series: Heart Of Hearing Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196768
Kudos: 8





	Hoarders

**Author's Note:**

> To be read after Heart of Hearing.

Shopping while Matthew was around… was _difficult_ . The wheaten blonde _always_ insisted on having healthy meals as much as possible, and it drove Lars up the wall more than a few times. He had to fight for the Pop Tarts the last few times they went weekly grocery-shopping, insisting that he would be the one to pay for it.

Even at this point in life Lars hated eating healthy so very much. The scarring caused by root crop overload in his youth was still there, and whenever a dish had potatoes in it he would flat-out refuse to eat it. Blame Mr. B and Uncle Gilbert for having a damned obsession with the hated root crop. It still gave the tall blond nightmares sometimes.

Today Max the guide dog was “helping”, carrying anything and _everything_ that Lars let him mouth. Bless that happy yellow labrador’s face.

Lars had another personal 'mission', to be honest. That was to try as many varieties of instant ramen as possible. He had found this nice little Asian store somewhere in the neighborhood that had one corner stocked with so many kinds of ramen. Flavors that Lars had never seen before!

Lars knew that Nissin brand ramen sucked. These colorful varieties were printed with languages he could only make a guess at. Oh to understand so many flavors of ramen. He was torn between getting the Japanese and Korean varieties available, but in the end decided to stockpile a little bit of everything. There was even that delicious Mi Goreng he had back in high school!

The challenge here was getting it home, building stashes in a way Matthew would not know what he was up to. It was difficult, since the wheaten blonde had run of the damned kitchen most days. Him not paying attention to home economics classes back in high school was starting to bite him in the ass _hard_. Lars relied on the instant variety of food and take out for most of his university life.

Getting bags of ramen home with a cane and a bum knee was a challenge for Lars, but one he took on. Max, his trusty guide dog, made it a lot easier. The service animal pulled a small wagon via harness, like the good ramen mule he was. The cart was heaped with Asian junk food. They likely had an hour before boring healthy Matthew returned.

Once he had gotten inside, it was time to look for a place that Matthew would not suspect him stashing all these recent purchases in. The music room was out of the question as it held Matthew's infernal book collection. The bedroom was not an option either. The kitchen was definitely not considered, since Matthew had run of the place. Where was he going to hide all this?! He looked around the place, trying to find an answer.

Absently, he gave Max a good scratch behind the ears. The reliably ally wagged his tail at the prompting, wiggling with want to escape his cart harness. Mindlessly, Lars freed the animal.

Boxes from recent mail packages poked out from beneath the couches. Lars was supposed to collapse and recycle them by now. The rain had pissed off his knees for two days, this morning being his final reprieve. Between at home accounting business, Lars had chosen to fulfill his ramen mission instead.

The boxes certainly seemed big enough for the job. The dog hadn’t chewed on the edges yet. Would Matthew look under the couch?

He had to think like Matthew in an attempt to outsmart the other. How, and where, was he going to hide this? How he wished he had his own personal 'space' within the place to hide things in! Matthew was bound to ask so many questions when he saw anything out of place…

Matthew was always tired after hours of ASL therapy. The only things he did on couches was passing out. This plan could maybe work, unless he crushed the precious cargo! Mentally recoiling in horror, Lars decided that hiding them under the couch was a bad idea. Nothing was worse than having to eat fragmented ramen noodles swimming in soup. He had endured that misery before, and did _not_ want to experience it again.

He then made his way to their bedroom and considered hiding it in the closet, but Matthew had a tendency to dig _through_ the closet, so that was off the table. If he hid it in his bedside drawers, that would be too obvious.

Lars remembered the underside of the bed, getting an idea. The only problem here would be him crouching down to get at the hiding spot, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to endure. Anything for his own private stash of food at home that wasn't healthy and reeked of excessive vitamins and minerals.

The loading of a dozen ramen flavours into random boxes took time. Due to his crippled left knee, Lars often took breaks. Somehow, some way, he was almost done. Being deaf, he didn’t hear the squeal of the front door. Luckily, his smart watch vibrated to let him know.  
  
Someone, likely Matthew, was coming in the front door. Didn’t Lars have an hour? Where did the time go?!

He quickly crammed the rest of the ramen packets and bowls into the remaining unused boxes before quickly kicking them underneath the bed with his good foot. Why had the time gone by so quickly?! Had he wasted half an hour thinking of where he could hide the precious food? He then straightened himself and grabbed the cane, ambling out of the bedroom to greet Matthew.

Matthew was in the kitchen, his own suspicious bag on the floor. He had already thrown off his work shirt and draped it mindlessly over a chair. In Matthew’s hands was a box of strawberry-flavored Pocky. He looked up from the confusing Japanese labels, puzzled at Lars.

Lars sweat like a criminal on trial at the sight. The evidence was in Matthew's hands! Looking around frantically, he saw that the wagon was still out, one paper bag left inside. _Oh, shit!_ He thought, his mind panicking. He shiftily eyed the suspicious bag on the floor, fearing it was literature. He knew the other had quite a problem when it came to books. Lars made a grab for it, inching it closer to him with his good foot. Bending down slightly, he then scooped up the bag and emptied it of its contents, revealing…

_Another book._

Matthew was now the guilty one. He set down the Pocky, conversing via sign language. ‘It’s just one book.’

'One. _One._ Somehow I don't believe you,' Lars retorted, making a grab for the precious pretzel box.

‘It’s book six in a series! The centaur ambassador has to save the kingdom of Aloria from a coup! It’s so important!’ Matthew defended his addiction, hugging the fat fantasy novel to his lightly haired chest.

'You already have that series. Why get _another_ copy?!' Lars retorted, grabbing his paper bag. Mercifully it was just the Pocky-loaded paper bag Matthew had caught him red handed with. If it was the _ramen_ he had found, well…

‘I’m allowed my fun. This is a new one anyway. In six months the Red Moon parts are coming out, and I pre ordered only like… 2 things.’ Matthew was going to side sweep the whole issue it seemed. _'Somehow I still don't believe you._ Didn't we agree to cut down on hoarding excessive copies of books?' He countered, not letting the issue go. Hoarding was bad, Matthew. _Very bad._


End file.
